Piccolo Oboe
by AMBC
Summary: No one expected all this chaos to happen with just one bought instrument from Belarus! The Balkans found out the hard way, and now they have to fix it before something bad happens. At least Kosovo will get a few good laughs out of it. Contains OCs, and a whole lot of random.
1. America's Birthday

America ran through the streets of New York, ignoring the yells of his citizens as he broke through a few cars. In his hand were pieces of yellow paper with writing on it. Starting this morning, America had been receiving these pieces of paper lately. The writing generally gave him clues on where to find the next piece of paper. Like a Easter Egg hunt.

America stopped in his tracks and looked around, trying to find the next piece of paper. As he did so, a figure dressed in black appeared out of nowhere and dropped a piece of paper behind America. He coughed in order to get the American's attention.

'Whose that-?' America turned around, only to find no one behind. He did find a piece of paper behind him, however. 'Hey, another one! Kickass!' America ran over and picked up the paper. Written on it was the sentence, _Go to the land of all_ green.

'Land of all green.' America repeated, 'Where could that be?' He then snapped his fingers, 'I got it! They must mean Central Park!' Quick as a flash, America then raced off towards towards his destination.

Meanwhile, the figure dresses in black removed his ninja mask and took out a walkie-talkie, 'Macedonia-san, this is Japan. America-san is coming.'

* * *

In Central Park, the other nations were making last minute additions to a party they were preparing for America. They wore party hats atop their heads. There were banners on the trees that said 'Happy Birthday' and with bold eagles designed into them. Taiwan and the twins, Bosnia and Herzegovina, were busy decorating the park with roses, America's national flower. The American flag was situated next to the banners.

Portugal observed the preparations with England, 'I'm surprised you agreed to come along, Inglaterra.' Portugal said, 'Normally, you lock yourself up from the world when America's birthday comes around.'

'Yes, well I did a lot of thinking, and you were right.' England explained, 'I can't stay cooped up in the past forever. It was about time that I did let go, starting with attending my former colony's birthday with a smile.'

Portugal nodded while smiling, 'That's good to hear.' But as he turned around, England rushed to the nearest bin and practically threw up in it.

'Bloody hell...when did I have lasagne...?' He muttered to himself.

'Ve~, did someone say lasagne?' Italy asked.

Just then, everyone heard a shriek. Macedonia ran to the centre while holding a walkie-talkie, 'Everyone, America's on his way!' He exclaimed, 'We need to get in our positions quickly! Finish whatever you're doing, and HIDE!' Everyone reacted and quickly finished the preparations then hid behind anything they could find.

At that moment, America arrived in Central Park, 'All right, the land of all green. So, if I look around, I might be able to find another clue on what I should do next.' Japan appeared atop one of the trees and dropped a piece of paper on the ground for America to see, 'Another one! Sweet!' America ran over and picked up the paper.

'Turn a corner.' America read, '...I don't know what that means, but okay!' And so, he did what the note said and turned a corner. What he saw next was unexpected.

'SURPRISE!' America saw all the nations in the park, as well as stuff you would find at a party. It took him two minutes to process what he was seeing, and once he did, America reacted in a way that was completely unexpected for the other nations.

'OH SHIT, IT'S A ZOMBIE INVASION!' America shrieked and ran out of the park.

Twenty minutes later, America appeared again after France and China found him and managed to clear up the misunderstanding.

'Sorry about that, dudes.' America said cheerfully, 'I didn't mean to forget my own birthday and mistake it for an invasion.'

England scoffed, 'Naturally. Only you would think of something so cliché.' He commented, taking a sip of his tea. Macedonia frowned. He didn't remember including tea on the list of party food.

'It may be cliché, but it sure is possible.' America stuck his tongue out at England.

'Can we please start the party already?' Spain interrupted. Nobody disagreed with this decision, so the party began.

* * *

It was safe to say that everyone was having a great time. Macedonia observed the other nations enjoying themselves with Estonia, 'They're really having a blast, don't you think?'

Estonia nodded, 'I gotta admit, I had my doubts when me and Finland allowed you to join the Festival Committee. But after you led the others into making this party, I think we made the right choice.'

'Da, well it's amazing what you can make from remnants.' Macedonia chirped.

'Remnants?' Estonia asked.

'Da. Most of the decorations are more or less leftover from the celebration we Balkans had a few days ago.' Macedonia explained.

'Ah,' Estonia nodded in understanding, '...Which celebration was that?'

'We celebrated Croatia's membership into the EU. Serbia didn't attend though, but he did leave a gift for Croatia.'

'What was the gift?'

'It was a rock, and a note that said 'go fuck yourself'. Ah, it's nice to know that we still interact, even though we don't live together anymore.'

Meanwhile, Serbia was busy getting a drink from the punch bowel. Behind him, China was busy trying to keep the Asian nations under control(mainly South Korea) while England and France were busy strangling each other.

'Zdravo Moldavija.' Serbia greeted when he saw Moldova approach him. Along the way, Russia walked past him.

'Moldova.'

'Fart.'

'I didn't think you were a party person.' Serbia remarked.

Moldova snorted, 'My idiot brother dragged me and my annoying sister here. If you're looking for Romania, he's having another glaring contest with Hungary.'

Serbia raised an eyebrow, 'Your sister...?' He looked down to find a little girl on a leash. She wore a Russian style dress, and she had Romania's strawberry blonde hair, and Moldova's indigo eyes, 'Ah...Romania never mentioned a sister.'

'We don't usually talk about her a lot.' Moldova explained.

The girl fiddled with the collar around her neck, 'Let me go, you meanie. I want to be with Russia!'

Moldova scowled at the girl, 'Shut up, Transnistria.'

Serbia blinked, 'Why is she on a leash?'

The girl called Transnistria was about to talk when Moldova stated, 'Because she's an annoying brat, that's why.'

'I hate you!' Transnistria yelled, weakly kicking her brother in the shin.

'Get in line.' Said Moldova.

'I'll never understand sibling interaction.' Serbia said as he walked away, and past the fighting France and England to find Greece, who was having a conversation with Japan about cats. Ironically enough, Serbia had a sibling himself.

* * *

During the party, the presents came for America. They consisted mainly of new clothes, video games, figurines of his national sites, sex books(courtesy of France), a new plush cat from Greece, and more.

And then the oversized birthday cake arrived.

'Do we have to have a giant cake?' England asked Macedonia.

Macedonia shrugged, 'Well, there's a lot of nations out there. Some aren't even full nations at all, so it's nice to have one giant dessert with a lot of candles.'

'Well, kudos to the chefs.'

'Oh no, I baked the cake.' Macedonia explained, 'With a little help from Kosovo.'

'You two...but, there were only two of you. How did you manage to bake one this big in time?' England wondered aloud.

'That's for you to find out, and not know.' Macedonia said with a wink.

'Dude, this is kickass!' America cheered as he jumped into the cake, 'This is the best birthday _ever_!'

Serbia made a look of disgust when America started digging into the cake...literally, 'Mental note; don't eat the cake.'

'Go cake!' Kosovo yelled as he too jumped into the cake.

Serbia wasn't fazed. In fact, he became even more annoyed when he saw Bulgaria talking with Romania. He wanted to do a lot of things to that particular nation right now, and it didn't involve giving him chocolates or flowers, 'Yogurt-loving bastard...'

'CAKE!' Serbia yelped when when Kosovo popped out of the cake, sending a blob of frosting in the Serb's direction. 'Want some cake, bro~?'

'Ne.' Serbia replied, feeling his now sticky hair.

'Ne? Is that Serbian for yes, or maybe-'

'Ne means no, you twit.'

While Serbia was busy fighting with Kosovo, Macedonia was busy flirting with Brazil, with unsuccessful results. Slovenia then walked up to him.

'I have to say, Macedonia, you really know how to make a party.'

'Naturally.' Macedonia said proudly, 'I am the country of music and entertainment after all, but mostly music.'

'You do realise you have to clean this all up, right?'

'I'm aware, but not troubled.' Macedonia said with a smile, 'Because I have one thing that no one else does...'

**Happy Independence Day to you Americans~! And no, this is not a one-shot. This is just a minor sub-plot for the main event.**

**Also, you may have noticed a reference to Croatia joining the EU. Kudos to you, Croatia, you're a member of the EU family now~.**

**Fact: Transnistria is a small strip of breakaway territory within Moldova. It was formed after Moldova gained independence from the Soviet Union. Transnistria follows the customs of former Soviet Russia, and is a state of limited recognition, a bit like Kosovo and Northern Cyprus.**


	2. Crazy for EU

_Three day after America's birthday, at the Petrović residence in Belgrade..._

In the living room, Kosovo was busy vacuuming the floor while singing to his favourite songs in a highly off-key voice, '_Let's go crazy, crazy, crazy till we see the sun~! I know we only met but let's pretend it's love~! And never, never, never stop for anyone~! Tonight, let's get some...and live while we're young~!'_

Serbia then walked in with a pile of paper in his hands. He cringed at the pitch that Kosovo was singing. It was like drilling holes into a wall.

'Hey, bro~! Come and sing with meeeeeee~!' Kosovo sang to Serbia and he did a twirl.

'I can think of five good reasons why I don't want to do that.' Serbia stated, 'Two of them being that you're a terrible singer, and that I don't have time for singing.'

'How come, and why do you have paper in your hands~?' Kosovo asked.

'These are forms I needed to fill out in order to increase my chances of joining the EU.' Serbia explained, looking down at the pile of paper. He walked over and picked up the folder that laid on the coffee table, 'Now that two of our ex-housemates are members of that association, I need to take my application more seriously. I can't sit around and let everyone else join before me.'

'Sometimes, your determination to do stuff gives me gas.' Said Kosovo.

Serbia closed his eyes in an annoyed manner, 'Do I have to listen every time your body does something?'

'Does it matter?'

'In my opinion, yes, and shouldn't you be in New York, helping Macedonia clean up Central Park after the party on Thursday?'

'Oh that?' Kosovo waved his hand in a dismissive manner, 'We did that immediately after the party. And it only took five minutes~.'

'I...see.' Serbia said with hesitance. He placed the forms in the folder and walked away towards the front door. He grabbed his jacket from a hook by the door, and was about to reach for the doorknob when he realised something, 'Kosovo...' Serbia began slowly, 'the park was a complete wreck when everyone finished. Normally, a mess like that takes more than five minutes to clean.'

'I know that~!'

'Right, so how exactly did you and Macedonia clean up the mess in such a short time?'

'I can't tell you~! It's a se-cret~!' Kosovo chirped with a wink.

'Secret...' Serbia frowned. Macedonia said the same thing during the party. Either those two were hiding something from the other nations, or they hid the mess someplace else. Serbia was pretty sure it may have been the latter. He shook his head. He can't dwell on something like that now, especially when he had someplace important to go.

'Right...well, we'll talk about that later. Right now, I need to get to the EU.' Serbia said as he opened the door, 'Try not to do anything to the house while I'm out.'

* * *

After the painful plane ride to Brussels, Serbia arrived at the headquarters of the EU. 'Right, here goes.' Taking a deep breath, Serbia walked into the building. Once in there, he went immediately to clerk.

'Zdravo, I'm here to see EU.' Serbia stated.

'Of course. The Serbian nation's appointment with her.' The clerk looked at the schedules, 'Please take a seat. We'll address you by your human name when it's your turn.'

Serbia nodded and walked over to the waiting room. Apparently, he wasn't the only one waiting in there, 'Halló, Serbia.'

'Iceland?' Serbia tilted his head in confusion, 'What are you doing here? I thought you had no interest in joining the EU.'

'I thought that too, but after my economy failed, my boss thought it would be better if I started joining the EU.' Iceland explained, 'He said it was for my own good.'

'I see.' Serbia took a seat opposite Iceland and looked into his folder. A few minutes later, Greece came waltzing in.

'Geia sou adelfós...' Serbia looked up to see the half-sleepy face of his younger 'brother'. He had a cat clutching his shirt.

'Hello, Greece.' Serbia greeted, 'Did you just have a meeting back there?'

'No...I came here to hide from Albania...Albania won't stop coming to my house...' Greece explained.

'Ah...You know, Greece, you don't have to hide out in the EU, you're always welcome to hide in my house.' Serbia reminded him.

'Yeah...but I don't want to burden my adelfós...especially after you helped me over the past several years...' Greece tilted his head, '...are you trying to get into the EU...?'

'Right now, I'm on the negotiating part, but I have applied, and am a potential candidate.'

'I see...' Greece took a seat beside the Serb, 'You should probably know that EU is really fussy and strict...when it comes to choosing new members...'

'So I've heard.' Serbia nodded his head in agreement.

'But just to let you know...you have my support, adelfós...' Greece said, 'I stood beside you when everyone else bombed you...now, I'll stand beside you when EU decides what to do with you...'

Serbia smiled and nodded, 'I appreciate that, Greece.'

Greece hummed, 'Besides...you'll do a much better job at getting into the EU...than the Turkish demon...'

'What?! Were you referrin' to me, ya cat-loving bastard?!'

'Speak of the devil.' Iceland remarked when Turkey suddenly popped up from behind the couches, 'Hey, Pops.'

'Merhaba to you too, İzlanda.' Turkey gave a polite nod to the Icelander before glaring at Serbia and Greece through his mask, 'Alright, which one of you bastards asked for a beat up?'

'Leave my adelfós out of this...jackass of the east...' Greece argued, a hint of anger in his voice.

'What was that?! Are ya lookin' fer trouble?!' Turkey demanded, rapidly poking Greece in the cheek.

'_Hiss_...!'

'Oh, you're lookin' fer a fight! Is that it?!'

'Sure...if you want...'

'Alright, bring it!'

'Miloš Petrović?'

'WHAT?' Serbia jumped a mile and frantically stood up when the clerk approached him.

'EU is ready to see you now.'

'Thank you...' Serbia murmured. He looked over at the bickering pair. He then walked over to Iceland and gave him a blowing horn, 'If things start to get ugly between those two, make sure to play this.'

'Okay?' Said Iceland, not sure what the Serb meant by that.

* * *

'So you see, EU. My country has greatly improved over the past few years.' Serbia explained to an elderly woman with her grey-streaked hair tied in a high bun. She stared intently at the Serb behind her desk, while he showed her the improvements on a histogram, 'My income economy has made the highest progress in terms of democracy scores. Plus, I'm one of the the main exporters when it comes to plums.'

EU sniffed and adjusted her glasses, 'Well, Mr. Petrović. It appears that you've created a rather colourful image of your country's progress.'

'As to be expected.' Serbia agreed.

EU hummed, 'Be that as it may, we still need to consider our decisions carefully before we can let anyone else join the EU.'

'Exac-wait, what?' Serbia asked, completely caught off guard, 'B-but my improvements-'

'Are brilliant. I love everything about your improvements.' EU said sincerely, 'Except for one small thing,' She leaned forward in her chair, '**you**.'

Serbia froze, completely bewildered, 'Me?'

'Yes.'

'I don't really understand what you mean by that.'

EU sighed and rose from her seat, 'You may not realise it Serbia, but ever since the recession, I've wasted half my days trying to convince the other dispirited countries that the Euro is still useful. But that's not the point.' She began to circle him, 'Now, Serbia, there are many nations in Europe who want to be in the EU. I know, because Turkey has been pestering us for over forty years. I know you're one of those nations. I have nothing against your enthusiasm, but some of the other members are very apprehensive of your choice. Especially given your rather...shady past.'

Serbia couldn't help but chuckle slightly, 'Let me assure you that I don't have any bad aspects to my past.' He stopped when he saw the serious look he was receiving.

'Your profile begs to differ.' EU stated.

'My...profile?'

'Yes.' EU walked over to a filing cabinet and opened the drawer. She took out a folder from it and placed it on the table.

'...Oh...that profile.' Serbia whispered when he saw his nation and human name imprinted onto it.

'Correct, now let's review your past.' EU sat down and opened up the folder, 'At the start of the twentieth century, you were in a rivalry with the former Austro-Hungarian Empire over the nation of Bosnia and Herzegovina. This rivalry contributed towards the outbreak of the First World War, according to historians.'

'We made up in the end.' Serbia defended, 'And I've gotten good at avoiding Hungary's skillet.'

'Hmm.' EU continued reading, 'During the Cold War, you sided with the Eastern Bloc, along with the other countries of former Yugoslavia.'

'That was only until 1948.' Serbia remarked, 'Our late boss broke it off with Russia's boss when the Non-Aligned Movement was set up.'

'That's what they all say.' EU looked at the folder again, 'Ah, now here's a favourite; the Yugoslav Wars.'

'Oh jebati.' Serbia said, his face suddenly growing pale.

'During the nineties, when Yugoslavia was falling apart, you were following orders from one of your former bosses, typical of almost every country out there. According to our files, this boss wasn't quite right in the head. He had a delusional believe that Serbs were to be the dominant people in the Southern Balkan region, a bit like Germany's old boss. You were aware of this, and yet, you did nothing to rebel against him, even after he ordered you to attack some of your ex-housemates, including your own brother.' EU said and she seemed to be slowly leaning towards Serbia's face with every word.

'...We all make mistakes, let's move on.' Serbia said after a long pause.

'Yes...we do.' EU closed the folder, 'Now, I admit you did do some good things, Serbia. You fought on the Allied side during World War 1, and played a key role in their victory because of it. Plus, you were the leader of an Underground resistance that consisted of occupied countries during World War 2.'

'Yes, well the Allied Forces were being idiots at the time.' Serbia pointed out.

'Everyone's an idiot.' EU replied, 'Some are even worse than others. But even you need to see why we need to consider our options carefully in the EU. Between what happened during the nineties and the economic recession, many nations have become reluctant to allow new members. As for myself; I usually don't like to deal with confrontation, especially after that incident with the nation from Africa.'

'Um...which country was that?' Serbia asked.

_In Rabat..._

'So...can one of you ask me how he got like this?' Ghana asked, pointing to Morocco, who was curled up under the table with a dark, gloomy aura surrounding him.

Libya sighed, 'We can't give you a straight answer ourselves. All we know is that Morocco always gets like this every time somebody mentions the EU.'

'Please don't mention that organisation...' Morocco muttered in a depressed manner while Sudan prodded him with his staff.

_Back at the EU Headquarters..._

'Like I said, I hate to let potential candidates down.' EU said.

'Uh-huh...so...in terms of joining the EU.' Serbia drawled out.

'Prove to the other members that you've got EU material, then we'll talk.'

Serbia gave an unsure look at this, but he decided to follow EU's advice. He then left her office and past the waiting room, where Greece and Turkey were dancing to the sound of Iceland playing the horn.

**And that's that.**

**Like I said, the first chapter was a minor subplot. And now for the historical facts:**

**1) Everything that EU said about Serbia is indeed true, even the part where Serbia broke it off with the Soviet Union in order to join the Non-Aligned Movement. Resistant movements in former Yugoslavia were also quite famous during the Second World War.**

**2) In 1987, Morocco actually applied to join the EU. Unfortunately, that application was rejected when Morocco was considered more of an African country than a European country.**

**I've given Serbia the human name 'Miloš Petrović. It's a combination of the two leaders of the Serbian Uprising, back when most of the Balkans were breaking away from Ottoman riule.**

**Also, the word 'jebati' simply means fuck in Serbian.**

**Lyrics from 'Live While we're Young' by One Direction.**

**That's all for now.**


	3. Grapples and Plums

'Hi everybody~! We've all gathered here today at the council of de facto nations to discuss what we need to make everyone else take us seriously.' Inside Serbia's shed, Kosovo was seated around a round table with other de facto nations. So far, they consisted of Transnistria and Northern Cyprus, 'Our first order of business is that we need to get more members to join us. Any suggestions on how to do that?'

'Have we tried maybe walking up to them and asking them to join?' Transnistria asked.

'Interesting.' Kosovo hummed in thought. He snapped his fingers, 'I know~! We can go to the micronations and ask them for help~!'

'You'd be making a terrible mistake if you ask them.' N.C. told him.

Kosovo gasped, 'Really? Why?'

'They're evil, that's why.' N.C. explained, 'They may seem like sweet innocent beings, but the minute you turn your back, their true colours will show. All of them are evil.'

'Even Sealand?'

'Especially Sealand. The leaders are always the most evil.'

'Wow...I never knew that...' Kosovo said in awe, 'How do you know that, N.C.?'

'I've had a nasty encounter with their leader once.' N.C. said, 'It resulted in me getting a bad bruise.'

'Ouch.' Said Kosovo, 'And here I was thinking that he wasn't violent.' Just then, the shed door opened and Macedonia peeked his head inside, 'Hi, Macedonia~!' Kosovo greeted brightly when he saw one of his former caretakers

'Zdravo, Kosovo.' Macedonia replied with a smile, 'Is your brother home?'

'Yeah, he's sulking in the living room.' Kosovo said.

'Sulking? Oh dear, that can't be good.' Macedonia said more to himself than to the others, 'I'll try and talk to him.'

'Good luck with that~!' Kosovo chirped.

* * *

After finding the spare key to Serbia's house, Macedonia made a bee-line towards the living room. There, he found the Serb lying on his back on one of the couches with his eyes closed. There was a bowl of raspberries on the coffee table. Macedonia tilted his head, he knew that raspberries were Serbia's favourite fruit...after plums of course. But there were important matters than fruit. Macedonia strode over to the Serb and gently shook him.

'Hello? Miloš? Are you asleep? You're not dead either, are you?' Macedonia asked.

Serbia opened one grey eye and looked up at Macedonia, 'Go away.' He said bluntly and turned sideways so that his back was facing Macedonia.

'Oh c'mon, Serbia. I would expect this kind of behaviour towards Croatia, Austria, and half of Europe, but certainly not towards me.' Macedonia scolded, 'You can't stay on the couch all the time.'

'Why not? The couch is the only thing that doesn't bring up my past.' Serbia grumbled, 'And didn't I tell you to go away?'

'Not until you stop acting like a child and get up.' Said Macedonia.

'Can't you see I'm trying to nap?'

'You're not napping, you're sulking.'

'What's the difference?'

'There's a huge difference.'

Serbia scoffed, 'Right, and people call me a nation who can't learn from my mistakes.'

Macedonia sighed. He could tell that something was bothering Serbia, and whatever it was, it wasn't anything pleasant. It was time to bring in the big guns, 'Serbia,' He cooed, 'I have something cool I want to show you. Do you want to see it?'

'I'm not really in the mood.' Serbia replied. Truthfully, he hated it when Macedonia brought something into his home. It usually resulted in a very messy house and a _very_ pissed off Serb.

'I'm gonna show you anyway...**if**...you sit up and stop sulking.' Said Macedonia.

Serbia weighted his options. He knew the Macedonian won't leave him alone unless he did as he was told. Might as well get this over with. '...Fine, I'll get up.' He slowly sat up on the couch and stretched, 'All right. What is the 'cool' thing you wanted to show me?'

Macedonia smiled his brightest smiles and took something out of his pocket, 'Ta-da~!'

Serbia blinked, 'What...is that?' He asked carefully. What was in Macedonia's hand looked like an apple...only...it was purple. A purple apple.

'Da, and it's not just an ordinary apple. Take a bite out of it and see.'

Serbia hesitated, but he nonetheless slowly and carefully took the strange fruit from Macedonia, _I swear to God, if this is a poison apple, and I end up like Snow White, I'm going to get Macedonia back in the next Eurosong contest. _Kosovo then walked back into th house with Transnistria and Northern Cyprus just as Serbia took a bite out of the apple.

'Hey guys~! I just found out that micronations are evil~!' Said Kosovo. He then noticed the fruit in Serbia's hand, 'Hey, is that one of those special fruits you wished for, Macedonia?'

Macedonia waved his hands in order to tell Kosovo to be quiet. But that didn't go unnoticed to Serbia, 'What do you mean 'wished for'? And why does this apple taste like grapes?'

'That's because there _is_ grape in it.' Macedonia explained. He sounded eager to not answer the first question, 'That fruit is a combination of grapes and apples. I'm thinking of calling it a Grapple.'

'Grapple?' Serbia questioned but shook his head. While he was wondering about Macedonia's poor naming skills, he had other questions that he wanted answered. 'Never mind, I want to know how you got this fruit, and don't say 'it's a secret' because if you still remember, I was very good at getting people to spill the beans when we lived together.'

'Da...I remember.' Macedonia said with a sigh.

Kosovo walked beside Macedonia, 'So wait, are we going to tell him?'

'It looks like it...especially when he's in such a sour mood.'

'Tell us what?' Transnistria asked innocently.

'Da, tell us what the secret is.' Serbia added.

'Ah...' Macedonia chuckled nervously as he pulled Serbia off the couch, 'W-well, we only just want Serbia to know. This doesn't concern children.'

'But I want to know too.' Transnistria whined, 'Please, Mr. Macedonia? Pretty please?'

Macedonia smiled sadly and shook his head. Transnistria crossed her arms and humphed in a fashion similar to Moldova. Once that was taken care of, Macedonia led Kosovo and Serbia to the front door.

'Hang on, where are we going?' Serbia asked.

'To my house.' Macedonia answered simply, 'It's time you were trusted with the secret myself and your younger brother had been hiding from the others.' And so, the three Balkans quickly left the house, leaving N.C. and Transnistria alone.

'Adults,' N.C. said casually, 'they never tell you anything. Typical.'

Transnistria pouted angrily, 'Fine then. If nobody will tell me, then I'll find out for myself.'

'Good luck with that. I think the adults have whatever they're hiding well hidden.'

'Oh I'll find out, all right.' Transnistria stated, 'I _always_ discover secrets.'

* * *

One painful car ride later, the trio arrived at Macedonia's house, 'So, what are you both showing me exactly?' Serbia asked with his arms crossed as he followed Kosovo and Macedonia into the music room.

'You wanted to know what our secret was, bro, well now you're gonna find out~.' Kosovo chirped.

Macedonia pushed a set of lutes aside and reached for a wooden box on the window sill. He opened it and took out a small instrument that resembled a mini clarinet, 'This is it, Serbia.'

'What is it?' Serbia asked.

'It's how I got the Grapple. It's called a piccolo,' Macedonia explained, 'and it grants wishes.'

Serbia blinked, and then raised his index finger at Macedonia and closed his eyes, 'Okay...I know it feels right that you believe in magical objects, even though you are not a magician yourself, but I highly doubt a musical instrument grants wishes.'

'This one does.' Macedonia insisted, 'And I'll prove it.' He placed the piccolo in Serbia's hand, 'All you have to do is make a wish.'

Serbia stared warily at the piccolo, _Might as well humour these two, _'All right...I wish for a bag of plums to appear in my hand.' ...nothing happened, '...Like I said. No magical instrument.'

'That's because you didn't blow into it.' Kosovo explained, 'You have to play it next.'

'...Okay, let's get this over with.' Serbia closed his eyes and blew into the piccolo. It emitted a high pitched sound as he blew. After he finished, nothing still happened, 'I told you. There's no such thing as magical-' At that moment, a bag of plums appeared in Serbia's hand in a flash of light. Said Serb yelped in Serbian and jumped backwards, dropping the plums and instrument in the process.

'It worked! I told you so.' Said Macedonia, clearly delighted with himself that he was right.

Serbia stared in wide-eyed shock as Kosovo picked up the instrument. Trying not to loose his cool, Serbia approached the duo, '...Alright...so, you both were right about the instrument being magic, but...where did you get it?'

'Ah...' Macedonia scratched the back of his head bashfully, 'well, that's kind of a funny story...'

'I'll say it!' Exclaimed Kosovo as he pulled up a chair and sat in, putting on a fake monocle in the process.

'Oh great, now he's in storytelling mode.' Serbia groaned.

'Everyone shut up, and sit down!' Kosovo yelled at the nations present. Which wasn't very much because there were only two present. Nonetheless, they obliged and sat down to hear Kosovo's story, 'Well, several days ago, Macedonia and I were getting stuff for Croatia's EU Membership party...'

**Next chapter will be a flashback~!**

**As for all of you 'Nordic Swap' fans, you'd be happy to know that I'll be finally coming back to the story. One of my main priorities will be getting it done.**

**That's all for now. Remember to leave a review.**


	4. Brazil, oh Brazil!

_June 26, in Skopje..._

A few days before Croatia's membership into the EU, Macedonia and Kosovo went to a nearby party shop to get a few things for the celebration. They were just walking out with several bags in their hands. Macedonia used his free hand to check his shopping list, 'Okay, that's party banners, confetti, and platters checked off the list. Now, we need snacks and confectioneries next.'

Kosovo blinked, 'I have no idea what the second-last word means, but it sounds fun~!'

Macedonia rolled his eyes at Kosovo's childlike attitude to life. That was until he saw a knife zip past him, almost nicking his shoulder in the process. And then Russia ran past him.

'Go away!'

'But Big Brother, we are destined to be together!'

But of course, the chase ended when Russia ran into a nearby pub and locked the door shut. Belarus ran over and started knocking and scratching the door. After about thirty minutes of doing this, Belarus gave up and banged her fist against the door, 'You can't hide from me forever, Big Brother! You will become one with me!'

'Yep, that's my cousin, trying to commit incest~!' Kosovo chirped.

Belarus looked over her shoulder at the pair and made a look of disgust, 'So...the partially recognised scum is here.' She looked at Macedonia, 'And the music-loving shithead.'

'Zdravo BelorusiJa.' Macedonia said with a wave, completely unfazed by Belarus' insult.

'What are you idiots doing here?' Belarus asked.

'We're getting stuff for a party we're throwing for Croatia's membership into the EU,' Macedonia explained, 'and I'm not a genius to know you're stalking Russia again.'

Belarus scoffed, 'He's playing hard to get, but in time, he will see things clearly.' She grinned maliciously, and a dark aura surrounded her, 'Hurry up and make a decision, Big Brother, or I will get you~!'

Macedonia sweat dropped, 'How do you live with such relatives, Kosovo?'

'They're not perfect, I know, but they're still family.' Kosovo replied casually. Then he remembered, 'That reminds me. Belarus, can I go to your house? I think I left something there when you used me as a guinea pig for your piranha pit.'

Belarus nodded and motioned the pair to follow her, 'As long as you don't touch anything, and tempt me to slit your throat at the same time, you can do whatever you like there.'

'Fair enough~!'

As the group left the capital, the pub door opened and Russia peeked his head out, 'Is she gone?'

* * *

_In Minsk..._

Belarus unlocked the door to her home and allowed Kosovo and Macedonia to enter first. Kosovo rushed past the adults in a blur of blue and dark red over to another room that was very dark. Macedonia frowned. He didn't know why, but there was something off about that room...something sinister.

'You can follow him if you like.' Belarus said as she closed the door behind him, 'But touch anything, and I won't hesitate to cut your penis off.'

'Duly noted.' Macedonia gingerly opened the door a little more. Inside, he found a stack of different sized knives, a large bookcase huddled in the corner and a very dusty display case with something inside it. It was the one thing in the room that caught Macedonia's interest, minus the blood on the wall that said 'Marry me, Russia'.

Curious, Macedonia walked over to the case and examined it. There was something about the object inside that was vaguely familiar. He couldn't put his finger on it, 'Hey, Belarus...what's that in the case?'

'You mean this?' Belarus blew some of the dust off the case and lifted it. She took what was inside the case and held it in front of Macedonia's face.

'Oh.' Macedonia's face lit up, 'Oh! I know what that is. It's a Piccolo Oboe! A musical instrument that's very common in the Balkan region.'

'So, even the most dim-witted of nations can know their lutes from their flutes.' Said Belarus.

Somewhere in the room, Kosovo giggled at what Belarus said, 'Good one.'

'You shut up, scum.' Belarus said to him, 'But you're right. This is a piccolo, and not just any piccolo. I bought it from a travelling salesmen sometime in the 1700s. He said that it was a magical piccolo that was made to grant wishes.'

Macedonia perked up, 'Wishes? You mean that instrument makes wishes come true?'

Belarus nodded, staring at the piccolo with contempt, 'Bullshit, unfortunately enough. I tried to use it on Big Brother, and it didn't grant my wish.'

Macedonia had a good idea on what Belarus' wish was, but he wasn't going to say it out loud. He was more interested in the piccolo to ask anyway, 'So...does that mean you don't use the piccolo? I mean, as a music lover, I know that instruments like this shouldn't stay cooped up in dark places like this, they should be in the open world for people to hear.'

Belarus raised an eyebrow, 'Is that your lousy way of telling me that you want the piccolo?'

Macedonia shifted, 'Well, that depends on how you want to negotiate.'

Kosovo then ran up to the adults with a book in his hands, 'Hey! I just found a book that talked about what life means. I never knew you had a philosophical side, Belarus~.'

* * *

_~End of Flashback~_

'So, yes. Kosovo found a philosophy book, Belarus tried to stab him, one thing led to another, and here we are with the piccolo.' Macedonia concluded his story to Serbia.

Serbia blinked, completely unsure on how to react to this shocking revelation, 'Well...that's all great, but how did you figure out it was magic?'

'It was Kosovo here who made us figured it out.'

'Hi~!'

'Da, he made a wish while I was playing the piccolo. He wished for Egypt to recognise him, and that wish came true. Simple as that.' Macedonia explained with a smile.

Serbia stared at the piccolo apprehensively, 'I'm not going to ask why Kosovo wanted Egypt to recognise him...I'm more concerned about that thing in your hand.'

'The piccolo? Why?'

'That object...we know that it grants wishes, but we have no idea what it's fully capable of. In the wrong hands, it could be very dangerous. Do you even have a place to keep it protected?'

'Of course.' Macedonia showed Serbia the box that the piccolo was in, 'We have this box, so it helps.'

'I'd prefer it if you kept it in a more secure place.' Serbia grumbled. But then again, Macedonia had always been the simplistic type.

'A box _is_ secure.'

'Whatever...' Serbia decided he'd seen enough, 'Well, if that's all you want from me, I'm going home. Zbogom-'

'Wait! Before you go, I want to ask your opinion about something.' Macedonia walked over to a shrine that contained various photos of Brazil, 'Ah, Brazil...the jewel of South America. So beautiful...'

'If you're going to go on about your crush, then I'm leaving.' Said Serbia.

'Ne, just hear me out.' Said Macedonia as he picked up a lute, 'I made a song for the lovely Brazil, and I want you to hear it, and tell me what you think of it.'

Serbia sighed and dropped down on a stool, 'Fine, let's hear it.'

'Great!' Macedonia began to play the lute and sing:

_'Brazil, oh Brazil~!_

_You are so beautiful, and noble~._

_Your festivals are very remarkable and unique~._

_And your beaches are so sparkly and bright~!_

_I won't mind coming to your place during the summer~!'_

As Macedonia continued to play, all three nations failed to notice a little girl with strawberry blonde hair slowly climb over a window and onto the floor. She spotted the box which Macedonia placed the piccolo back in earlier and snatched it from the window sill without anyone noticing. She silently giggled to herself as she climbed over the window again, and out of the house. Meanwhile, Macedonia was still singing.

_'Brazil, oh Brazil~!_

_You shine twice as bright as the sun~!_

_Tell me, why is it that you keep damaging your environment~?_

_Your lack of green makes me congested sometimes~._

_You need to stop cutting down your rainforests~!_

_Or you'll have nothing to grow, and nothing to export~!_

_'Brazil, oh Brazil~!'_

He finished with a B-note, and looked expectantly at Kosovo and Serbia. Kosovo clapped and whistled while Serbia just stared, completely baffled, 'So, Serbia. What do you think?'

'...I don't...I don't understand, was that supposed to be a love song?' Serbia asked after a long pause.

'Da, it was.'

'...In that case, you need better lyrics.' Said Serbia as he stood up, and walked away, back to his own house.

'Clearly bro is tone-deaf.' Chirped Kosovo.

'I think you mean 'ignorant of song'.' Macedonia corrected him. He then winked at the readers and played his lute again, _'Never underestimate the power of music~!'__  
_

**And that's that.**

**Let me assure you that I have nothing against Brazilians, but in fairness, they really do need to work on preserving what's left of their environment.**

**Also, I am now a DeviantArt user. That's right, so you'll get to see my drawings, and my OCs in the flesh. I'll put the link to my DeviantArt profile later.**

**That's all! Remember to review.**


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